Small Spaces
by Winter Blake
Summary: Sometimes Tim felt as if he didn't actually exist. Tim just gave everything he had and then some. It was okay that nobody loved him back- just as long as he could be around them.


**Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing. **

**Universe: A sort of AU in the pre-flashpoint universe. Fuck the New 52. **

**I got this idea when I was thinking about how I used to hide under things when I was little and I thought is seemed like a very Tim like thing to do. Anyway I didn't intend for it to become this but it did. I apologize in advanced.**

**One other thing if you like this story the sequel is up and it is called Black Hole. **

When Tim was a little boy he used to hide in small spaces. His favorite place was under a table with a long red tablecloth that fell down onto the floor. He would sit under that table for hours reading with a flashlight or just thinking, letting the darkness comfort him. He took comfort in the darkness the way most little boys would not. It made him feel safe- he saw nothing and nothing saw him. It fit. Nobody ever noticed him, not his parents, not the kids at school, not the nannies his parents left him with… the darkness just made it literal. Sometimes he felt at if he didn't actually exist.

On the rare occasions, when his mother was actually home, she worried about him. She never said this to his face but he heard her speaking to his father on more then one occasion from his hiding spot under the table.

_"He's just such an _odd _little boy. He doesn't go out and play with his friends, he just sits and reads- he rarely even speaks!" _

Tim had tried on several occasions to become the little boy his mother wanted him to be. But whenever he tried talking at the dinner table she always found something to reprimand in his little speech, and the one time he went out to play with some kids she got angry with him because his clothes became muddy. He gave up after several tries.

He spent much of his childhood following Batman and Robin with his camera, or hiding under that table. Then he became Robin, and for a little while he felt _real_. He had a purpose. He wasn't hiding under a table anymore, he wasn't just stalking the people who made a difference, he had _become_someone who made a difference. He had thought he had found a home and a family, a place where he belonged.

He wasn't naive enough to think that Dick and Bruce might actually love him back, or need him like he needed them- but he was fine with that. As long as they let him stick around and absorb their light, and let him _exist_, then he was happy. He had more then he could ever ask for, and had ever expected he would get.

But that wasn't the case anymore. He wasn't needed or wanted anymore. He had been _replaced_ by the demon spawn, by Bruce's true son, by a killer. He now understood how Jason must have felt- and _fuck_ it felt bad. Everybody around him that he loved, his father, Bart, Bruce, _Conner_, had died. They all died and left him, and Dick replaced him, and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know where to go or what to become, so he hid.

The table with the red tablecloth was long gone (and he was probably to big to hide under it anyway) so he hid in other places. He hid in dark corners as Red Robin while stalking criminals in the dead of night, he hid behind a mask, a careful façade that hid how much he was _really _hurting, and finally he just ran. He ran from everything and everyone, and he ran from Dick. He ran from Dick the person he loved most in the world. His big brother who in his eyes was perfect. His big brother who probably didn't even think of him as a brother. His brother who did not love him.

He returned eventually though. And Bart, Bruce, and Conner, they all returned. They came _back_. But Tim staid hidden. He had become invisible in the darkness once more and he didn't think he would get out of it this time. He was doomed to be invisible forever. He would stay on observer for the rest of his life, alone and unloved, shrouded in darkness, unable to come out. He could yell and scream but he knew nobody would hear, so he didn't. He just hid away, and tried to help as best he could. He tried to be the best. He tried to do everything right and help everyone with what they needed. He pushed himself to his limit and then pushed some more. When he looked in the mirror he couldn't see himself, he couldn't see anyone- Tim Drake was gone.

He gave it his all. He gave everything he had, and in the end he gave it all up for Dick. He gave it up for the man who replaced him with another, and probably didn't think of him as a brother. He took a bullet for Dick without a moment's hesitation.

_"Timmy, no. Stay with me, please stay with me," Dick cried, as he held Tim close. _

_ "Did I-" Tim struggled to speak through the pain, "did I do alright?" he asked. "I t-tried. I… tried my… best." _

_ Dick let out a sob as he ran his hand through Tim's hair. It felt so nice to have Dick hold him. Just like when Tim was little and Dick would force him to cuddle with him. He may have complained but he always secretly liked it. And Tim hadn't been held by anyone in _so_ long. Dying was worth it if it meant Dick would hold him again. _

_ "You did amazing Timmy," said Dick with a sad broken smile on his face that didn't meet his tear filled eyes. _

_ "I… I l-love you Dick," Tim said. He didn't know why he was saying it, but he felt like he needed to. He needed to tell this one last thing to his brother before he died. "I… don't… c-care if you d-don't. But I've always loved y-you." _

_ Dick looked at him with a heartbroken expression that Tim could not comprehend. Everything was becoming fuzzy, and all he wanted to do was sleep. _

_ "I do love you Timmy. You're my little brother. I love you more then anything." _

_ "Y-you do?" Tim spoke those final words before he coughed up blood and struggled to breathe. The blackness was calling to him. _

_ "Don't you dare fall asleep!" Tim heard a distant voice scream. "No! Timmy stay with me! No! Tim!" _

In the end Tim gave every last bit he had to give, and then faded into the darkness.

**I am very sorry for this. I didn't intend to kill Tim but it seemed like the natural way to end this. Reviews are loved. Please and thank you.**


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